Very strange and long-winded dream last night. Not sure I can remember all of it, but here goes.
Cheese: Blue Wensleydale (approx 100g)
During my lunch break, I'd gone for an interview at a place I used to work at years ago. I'm not sure why I'd gone, I really hated working there. I turned up to be interviewed by my old boss, who was a nice enough guy but was really wet and pathetic and right pain in the arse to work for as he had no idea how to manage and had no idea how to organise his own work, let alone anyone elses.
For this reason, I wasn't that keen, but he did explain he'd employ as an outside contractor. I told him there was no way I'd even consider it unless he paid £500 a day - I was very surprised when he happily agreed to do so. Even doing that job could be tolerated for that sort of money. After being treated like shit in that place it felt very satisfying to take that sort of money off them.
He told me that the project would last 12 - 18 months, and involved writing a back-end to go behind a Flash-based web application. I gave him the whole interview spiel about a very similar project I'd done, and went into all sorts of technical detail which I won't bore you with. At this point, I was thinking 'Kerching! gravy train alert!'
He was keen and offered me the position, but said I need to meet some woman first, and took me off to meet her. Although where we went was not around my old work - it was the same company, but clearly it was a different location. We walked through various buildings and offices and I saw a few familiar faces, but no sign of this woman.
At this point I realised I'd been out at lunch for about an hour and a half and still wasn't even on my way back in. I made my excuses and headed off. I was driving back (randomly past my old flat - no where near where I work or where I used to work), and I got stuck behind a bus at some little contra-flow traffic lights. It was on a hill and my car started sliding down the hill a bit. So I put the handbrake on.
I then went home, I'm not sure why when I was supposed to be going back to work. There was a bird loose in the house. This was most annoying and I had to try and coax it out.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 2
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 7
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Sunday 21 February 2010
Control Dream
Particularly vivid dream, but without the aid of any cheese whatsoever. Maybe I need to up the cheese dosage.
Cheese: None
I was in Australia with my friend who lives in Sydney. We were doing a road trip across Australia and were doing a lot of driving through the outback. The weather was very hot but it was sunny and beautiful. I particularly remember strong sunlight making the earth and the sky particularly intense with colour.
After a while of cruising through the outback we got to Sydney. At this point I realised that I was driving my car and start to freak out a bit about how I was going to get my car back to the UK. I'm not sure how my car got out there in the first place, but this didn't calm down my panic around how I was going to get it home.
After a while we got a ferry to Korea, and I figured I could drive back from Korea. Once we were in Korea, we went to get something to eat, but making ourselves understood was very difficult indeed. I was desperately trying to explain that I'd have anything as long as it wasn't dog.
The next thing I remember was waking up in hospital back in the UK. It was July 22nd and I worked out I'd been unconscious for over 2 months as I think it had been May when I was in Korea (I'm not sure how I knew it had been May in Korea).
I was quite shocked by this leaped out of bed and tried to book a flight to Korea so I could go and get my car back.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 8
Cheese: None
I was in Australia with my friend who lives in Sydney. We were doing a road trip across Australia and were doing a lot of driving through the outback. The weather was very hot but it was sunny and beautiful. I particularly remember strong sunlight making the earth and the sky particularly intense with colour.
After a while of cruising through the outback we got to Sydney. At this point I realised that I was driving my car and start to freak out a bit about how I was going to get my car back to the UK. I'm not sure how my car got out there in the first place, but this didn't calm down my panic around how I was going to get it home.
After a while we got a ferry to Korea, and I figured I could drive back from Korea. Once we were in Korea, we went to get something to eat, but making ourselves understood was very difficult indeed. I was desperately trying to explain that I'd have anything as long as it wasn't dog.
The next thing I remember was waking up in hospital back in the UK. It was July 22nd and I worked out I'd been unconscious for over 2 months as I think it had been May when I was in Korea (I'm not sure how I knew it had been May in Korea).
I was quite shocked by this leaped out of bed and tried to book a flight to Korea so I could go and get my car back.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 8
Friday 19 February 2010
Guest Post: Caramac Kryptonite
Guest Post from RG:
Culprit-Pizza Hut Pepparoni Feast
For some reason I was at the local fire station waiting for the bus, the bus arrived and everything was fine and dandy. All of a sudden the bus turned into one of those cooling towers and the driver carried on as normal. All of a sudden the bus was propelled into orbit via the steam within the cooling towers.
For some reason I was unable to move or speak, but I was watching Thundercats on my MP3 player, this may have some reasoning behind my paralized body. I then ended up in Birmingham, Me, Liz and some others from work were going to get a train to go to see Avatar at the cinema. We bought loads of provisions; this consisted of the basics, Coca cola, Caramac bars and space raiders. We were then running to the cinema to watch Avatar.
All of a sudden the cinema was transformed into the train station. We were running to the train station and we missed the train from the Birmingham NEC, so we run up some stairs and then all of a sudden a 100 statues came to life and started to attack us. The statues were similar to the blue guy from Watchmen. They were around a 100 metres high, grey statues and they began to omit large lasers through their mouths. The lasers were Green and cut through everything in their paths.
They then released some hybrid Tigerlions. We were all scared and hid behind the columns in the station. The Tigerlions were sniffing about. This is when we decided to use the Caramac bars and space raiders to our advantage. We smeared the Caramac on a train at the station along with ample supply of beef space raider crisps. This scent attracted the Tigerlions and then the train blew up.
Post by RG
Culprit-Pizza Hut Pepparoni Feast
For some reason I was at the local fire station waiting for the bus, the bus arrived and everything was fine and dandy. All of a sudden the bus turned into one of those cooling towers and the driver carried on as normal. All of a sudden the bus was propelled into orbit via the steam within the cooling towers.
For some reason I was unable to move or speak, but I was watching Thundercats on my MP3 player, this may have some reasoning behind my paralized body. I then ended up in Birmingham, Me, Liz and some others from work were going to get a train to go to see Avatar at the cinema. We bought loads of provisions; this consisted of the basics, Coca cola, Caramac bars and space raiders. We were then running to the cinema to watch Avatar.
All of a sudden the cinema was transformed into the train station. We were running to the train station and we missed the train from the Birmingham NEC, so we run up some stairs and then all of a sudden a 100 statues came to life and started to attack us. The statues were similar to the blue guy from Watchmen. They were around a 100 metres high, grey statues and they began to omit large lasers through their mouths. The lasers were Green and cut through everything in their paths.
They then released some hybrid Tigerlions. We were all scared and hid behind the columns in the station. The Tigerlions were sniffing about. This is when we decided to use the Caramac bars and space raiders to our advantage. We smeared the Caramac on a train at the station along with ample supply of beef space raider crisps. This scent attracted the Tigerlions and then the train blew up.
Post by RG
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Return of the Cheese Surfer
The Cheese Surfer returns. I did bring back some mind bendingly strong cheese, but I accidentally left it in a fridge in London. Oh Well.
Last night's experience was with a lump of good old English Cheddar.
Cheese: Cheddar (approx. 60g)
This dream was very hazy, some of it was clear, but I think I had it sometime before waking up, so it was difficult to recall.
I remember climbing up a big wide stair case. I was going to work, but this wasn't my office, and I wasn't wearing work clothes. I took my shoes off at the top of the stairs and went through a door on the right into the office (which wasn't my normal office). I was a bit worried that I didn't have my work clothes on, but it was soon apparent that no-one else did either.
The office was black, but had large windows on the right as I walked in, so it was very light. I sat down at my desk and turned my computer on.
After a while trainers started being handed out to people - everyone had left their shoes at the top of the stairs on the way in. These trainers were proper pimp trainers, with gold stripes and pink bits on them. They looked absolutely ridiculous - Usain Bolt on acid.
We all got different pairs, and I put on the pair I'd been given, which thankfully were fairly plain, they were white Nike trainers with a gold stripe down the side. After a while I realised I was wearing two right foot trainers.
Suddenly walking became very difficult. It wasn't just me either, people were going arse over tit all over the shop!
This is all I can remember.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 5
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 5
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
Last night's experience was with a lump of good old English Cheddar.
Cheese: Cheddar (approx. 60g)
This dream was very hazy, some of it was clear, but I think I had it sometime before waking up, so it was difficult to recall.
I remember climbing up a big wide stair case. I was going to work, but this wasn't my office, and I wasn't wearing work clothes. I took my shoes off at the top of the stairs and went through a door on the right into the office (which wasn't my normal office). I was a bit worried that I didn't have my work clothes on, but it was soon apparent that no-one else did either.
The office was black, but had large windows on the right as I walked in, so it was very light. I sat down at my desk and turned my computer on.
After a while trainers started being handed out to people - everyone had left their shoes at the top of the stairs on the way in. These trainers were proper pimp trainers, with gold stripes and pink bits on them. They looked absolutely ridiculous - Usain Bolt on acid.
We all got different pairs, and I put on the pair I'd been given, which thankfully were fairly plain, they were white Nike trainers with a gold stripe down the side. After a while I realised I was wearing two right foot trainers.
Suddenly walking became very difficult. It wasn't just me either, people were going arse over tit all over the shop!
This is all I can remember.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 5
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 5
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
Saturday 6 February 2010
A Short Break
The Cheese Surfer is taking a break for a week's holiday.
However, I do hope to return with some mind-bendingly strong cheese.
However, I do hope to return with some mind-bendingly strong cheese.
Thursday 4 February 2010
Caerphilly
Dropped some Caerphilly last night. Some interesting results.
Cheese: Caerphilly (approx 50g)
The dream was mainly based around travelling and cars. I'd somehow managed to crash my Ford Mondeo, but thankfully a friend from work (Liz) offered me a lift (I'm not sure where I was going).
Liz was driving a very small car, I'm not sure what kind of car it was, but we had to stop to refuel, and the process of refuelling became highly convoluted. It seems that Liz's car was some sort of hydrogen cell powered car that needed refuelling with a kind of special gas.
We had to connect all sorts of pipes together, and there was quite a lot of water leaking out as we tried to get the fuel pump working properly. Eventually Liz left me to it, as she had to go home for something. She left me vague directions to drop the car off later.
After managing eventually to refuel successfully, I drove off in Liz's car, but took a wrong turn and got quiet lost. I ended up by a large lake out in the countryside somewhere, and was really struggling to figure out where I was.
Thankfully, nearby John Travolta and local news reader Christa Ackroyd were having a picnic. I asked them where I was and they told me. At that point, I realised I could just get out my iPhone, figure out where I was, put in Liz's postcode and figure out how to get there.
I thanked John Travolta and Christa Ackroyd and got back in the car and headed off. It was very easy and I found my way back to Liz's house. I parked the car in her driveway, waved at her through the window and walked home.
The fact that my iPhone was in my dream probably means I'm a complete geek.
Freakiness: 5
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 6
Cheese: Caerphilly (approx 50g)
The dream was mainly based around travelling and cars. I'd somehow managed to crash my Ford Mondeo, but thankfully a friend from work (Liz) offered me a lift (I'm not sure where I was going).
Liz was driving a very small car, I'm not sure what kind of car it was, but we had to stop to refuel, and the process of refuelling became highly convoluted. It seems that Liz's car was some sort of hydrogen cell powered car that needed refuelling with a kind of special gas.
We had to connect all sorts of pipes together, and there was quite a lot of water leaking out as we tried to get the fuel pump working properly. Eventually Liz left me to it, as she had to go home for something. She left me vague directions to drop the car off later.
After managing eventually to refuel successfully, I drove off in Liz's car, but took a wrong turn and got quiet lost. I ended up by a large lake out in the countryside somewhere, and was really struggling to figure out where I was.
Thankfully, nearby John Travolta and local news reader Christa Ackroyd were having a picnic. I asked them where I was and they told me. At that point, I realised I could just get out my iPhone, figure out where I was, put in Liz's postcode and figure out how to get there.
I thanked John Travolta and Christa Ackroyd and got back in the car and headed off. It was very easy and I found my way back to Liz's house. I parked the car in her driveway, waved at her through the window and walked home.
The fact that my iPhone was in my dream probably means I'm a complete geek.
Freakiness: 5
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 6
Tuesday 2 February 2010
Picos Blue
Tried out a Spanish Blue cheese with some interesting effects.
Cheese: Picon Bleu
This dream was very intense at the time but became very difficult to recall, despite my notes, within a few hours of waking up.
There was a kidnapped child, which I found in a log cabin in a forest. It was unclear whether I had been looking for the child or just happened upon it. The log cabin was very smart, quite large and very well equipped.
While trying to figure out what to do with the kidnapped child, Vernon Kaye arrived to fit new uPVC double glazed doors, as the old ones were pretty draughty. I told him if he started talking about Bolton I'd punch him in the mouth. Within a minute I'd punched him in the mouth and told him to get on with changing the doors.
I'm not sure why I was telling him this as it wasn't my log cabin. At that point I could hear some soldiers coming through the woods looking for the child. I don't know why, but my instinct was to run. So I ran off through the woods.
I came to a frozen river (I'm not sure why it was frozen as it wasn't at all cold). In the ice I could see the face of a woman - not a frozen body in the ice, but the moving living image of a face in the ice. I tried to talk to her but I the soldiers had caught up with me.
The General was standing across the river from me, for some reason it was Jack Davenport - the guy from Pirates of The Caribbean, Talented Mr Ripley (and less impressively, Coupling). He nicked me, handcuffed me and put me in the back of a personnel carrier with Lenny Henry, who told crap jokes until I woke up.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 8 (Lenny Henry bad jokes, very scary)
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 6
Cheese: Picon Bleu
This dream was very intense at the time but became very difficult to recall, despite my notes, within a few hours of waking up.
There was a kidnapped child, which I found in a log cabin in a forest. It was unclear whether I had been looking for the child or just happened upon it. The log cabin was very smart, quite large and very well equipped.
While trying to figure out what to do with the kidnapped child, Vernon Kaye arrived to fit new uPVC double glazed doors, as the old ones were pretty draughty. I told him if he started talking about Bolton I'd punch him in the mouth. Within a minute I'd punched him in the mouth and told him to get on with changing the doors.
I'm not sure why I was telling him this as it wasn't my log cabin. At that point I could hear some soldiers coming through the woods looking for the child. I don't know why, but my instinct was to run. So I ran off through the woods.
I came to a frozen river (I'm not sure why it was frozen as it wasn't at all cold). In the ice I could see the face of a woman - not a frozen body in the ice, but the moving living image of a face in the ice. I tried to talk to her but I the soldiers had caught up with me.
The General was standing across the river from me, for some reason it was Jack Davenport - the guy from Pirates of The Caribbean, Talented Mr Ripley (and less impressively, Coupling). He nicked me, handcuffed me and put me in the back of a personnel carrier with Lenny Henry, who told crap jokes until I woke up.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 8 (Lenny Henry bad jokes, very scary)
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 6
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