Due to the arrival of the next generation of Cheese Surfer (Mattie Jr), I will be taking a short break from Cheese Surfing (and probably a long break from sleeping).
It is my hope that the Cheese Surfer will continue after a few weeks, although the needs of Mattie Jr may well interfere with dreaming coherence.
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Thursday 18 November 2010
Big House
Cheese: Vignotter (approx. 100g)
I was living in a huge house next to a railway. This place was seriously plush. There was an enormous triple garage, a massive downstairs, with a really nice living room. The place was done out really nicely.
There was a bathroom on a mezzanine floor which was the biggest nicest bathroom I've ever seen. It put the flashest hotels to shame. Really nicely done out with a spa bath, multi-headed double shower and double sinks. It was huge.
I was there with my wife, and we seemed to be sharing the place with another couple, the woman seemed to be the sister of a childhood friend (despite the fact that he didn't have a sister). The place was so big and nice that it didn't seem to matter that we were sharing it.
The railway line was right next to us, but it didn't seem to matter as there were very few trains passing on it, so the noise wasn't really an issue. It was also very hot, which made me wonder if we were abroad somewhere.
As part of moving in, I had bought a new TV (which I've also done in reality recently). This TV was absolutely huge and I had it wall mounted in the lounge. It looked pretty awesome and I settled down to watch football on it.
The woman in the other couple was also pregnant. She was explaining to us about how she was going to feed her placenta to her dog, because it would be 'really good for him', which was a bit gross, but seemed quite normal at the time.
I wondered into the basement at one point, only to find that there was a sports shop down there. They had a sale on so I bought a new football, some shin pads and an England shirt. It didn't occur to me at the time that having a sports shop in the basement was a bit weird.
I came back upstairs and we continued drinking and talking. I realised we'd been up all night and it was starting to get light now. We decided to have some food before going to bed, so we cooked up some bacon and eggs in the beautiful kitchen before going to bed.
As my wife and I got into bed I noticed the time on the bedside clock was 9:34am.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 8
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 7
I was living in a huge house next to a railway. This place was seriously plush. There was an enormous triple garage, a massive downstairs, with a really nice living room. The place was done out really nicely.
There was a bathroom on a mezzanine floor which was the biggest nicest bathroom I've ever seen. It put the flashest hotels to shame. Really nicely done out with a spa bath, multi-headed double shower and double sinks. It was huge.
I was there with my wife, and we seemed to be sharing the place with another couple, the woman seemed to be the sister of a childhood friend (despite the fact that he didn't have a sister). The place was so big and nice that it didn't seem to matter that we were sharing it.
The railway line was right next to us, but it didn't seem to matter as there were very few trains passing on it, so the noise wasn't really an issue. It was also very hot, which made me wonder if we were abroad somewhere.
As part of moving in, I had bought a new TV (which I've also done in reality recently). This TV was absolutely huge and I had it wall mounted in the lounge. It looked pretty awesome and I settled down to watch football on it.
The woman in the other couple was also pregnant. She was explaining to us about how she was going to feed her placenta to her dog, because it would be 'really good for him', which was a bit gross, but seemed quite normal at the time.
I wondered into the basement at one point, only to find that there was a sports shop down there. They had a sale on so I bought a new football, some shin pads and an England shirt. It didn't occur to me at the time that having a sports shop in the basement was a bit weird.
I came back upstairs and we continued drinking and talking. I realised we'd been up all night and it was starting to get light now. We decided to have some food before going to bed, so we cooked up some bacon and eggs in the beautiful kitchen before going to bed.
As my wife and I got into bed I noticed the time on the bedside clock was 9:34am.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 8
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 7
Saturday 13 November 2010
Another Jane's Addiction gig
Cheese: Montagnolo Affine (approx 100g)
I was in a room at what I think was a party, there was a band getting ready to play, which turned out to be Jane's Addiction. The room was sufficiently small that there were only a handful of people watching, one of whom was Bam Margera from Jackass.
I decided I probably should get too close to Bam Margera as being from Jackass he might decide to poo on me or something. Once the band started playing I did notice he had started to skin up a joint.
The gig was really good and the band were really going for it, despite only a handful of people watching. After a song or two they broke into Ocean Size, one of my favourite Jane's Addiction songs.
When the guitar solo came up, Dave Navarro went really nuts and started playing some crazy stuff which was great. Bam had been joined by Johnny Knoxville and Wee Man who were moshing away quite violently, and I made a point of keeping my distance. It seemed that Wee Man had decided he wanted to go crowd surfing, but as there weren't really enough people, he had to be content with Knoxville and Margera throwing him at each other.
At one point, I had to duck as Wee Man sailed over my head, and thankfully for him, straight into a sofa. I looked across and Knoxville and Margera who for some reason were now wearing nothing but thongs, and Knoxville rather sheepishly put a hand up as an acknowledged apology.
As the solo came to an end, the tempo changed and Dave Navarro started playing some jazz style stuff. The whole thing then went jazz, and the band did jazz versions of their songs for the rest of the set.
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 8
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 5
I was in a room at what I think was a party, there was a band getting ready to play, which turned out to be Jane's Addiction. The room was sufficiently small that there were only a handful of people watching, one of whom was Bam Margera from Jackass.
I decided I probably should get too close to Bam Margera as being from Jackass he might decide to poo on me or something. Once the band started playing I did notice he had started to skin up a joint.
The gig was really good and the band were really going for it, despite only a handful of people watching. After a song or two they broke into Ocean Size, one of my favourite Jane's Addiction songs.
When the guitar solo came up, Dave Navarro went really nuts and started playing some crazy stuff which was great. Bam had been joined by Johnny Knoxville and Wee Man who were moshing away quite violently, and I made a point of keeping my distance. It seemed that Wee Man had decided he wanted to go crowd surfing, but as there weren't really enough people, he had to be content with Knoxville and Margera throwing him at each other.
At one point, I had to duck as Wee Man sailed over my head, and thankfully for him, straight into a sofa. I looked across and Knoxville and Margera who for some reason were now wearing nothing but thongs, and Knoxville rather sheepishly put a hand up as an acknowledged apology.
As the solo came to an end, the tempo changed and Dave Navarro started playing some jazz style stuff. The whole thing then went jazz, and the band did jazz versions of their songs for the rest of the set.
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 8
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 5
Monday 8 November 2010
A Prolific Night
Cheese: Ashmore Farmhouse Cheddar (approx 100g)
I woke this morning and at first cursed that the large block of mature cheddar I munched last night had failed to produce results. Then four dreams seeped into my consciousness, while it's common to have more than one dream, it's pretty rare to be able to clearly remember more than one or two distinctly. Four is unprecedented.
Dream 1
I was in a hotel and someone cast me in a play. The play was to be performed that evening, and there were to be no rehearsals for me. I voiced concern that trying to be in a play when I hadn't rehearsed and didn't know the lines probably wasn't going to end well. The director of the play told me not to worry as I only had two lines at the end.
The character I was playing was called Douglas, and my costume looked like baby clothes, as I had to wear grey shorts that had dungaree style straps. The costume was topped off with rubber pants. I was not pleased at the prospect of having to wear such a ridiculous get up and toyed with the idea of soiling the rubber pants just to annoy the costume department. I abandoned this idea as I decided it would be too uncomfortable and risk a rather embarrassing nappy rash. I didn't want people thinking I was one of those freaky 'Adult Baby' types.
The cast were milling about in the hotel waiting for the curtain call. I rushed up to my hotel room to get changed, although I got lost on the way. By the time I got changed and came back it was nearly time for me to go on, as I was in the last scene of the play. The play was very short and barely lasted an hour.
I went on and gave my two lines, which were something about 'assumption being the father of rumour' and 'but without assumption we can never know anything'. It all sounded like bollocks to me.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 8
Dream 2
I was a castaway on an island, actually to be more precise, I was one of many castaways on a series of large rocks. I had climbed to the top of this large rock, in search of somewhere to sleep, but occasionally huge waves would hit the rock and soak the whole thing.
There was a bigger rock next to mine with a group of people on it. I decided that I would try and get across to their rock. Between waves I made a run for it and climbed down my rock and up theirs.
When I got on to their rock and climbed to the top, there was a swimming pool with lots of sun loungers and a bar. I thought to myself 'this is more like it'. I curled up on a sun lounger and went to sleep.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 7
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 5
Dream 3
I was with my wife, and we were climbing up a very steep, but quite short hill. I realised that it must be a man made mound, probably for an ancient castle. Then I realised I'd been there before (despite not actually recognising any of it). I told my wife there was a pretty cool castle at the top that we should check out.
The mound was very overgrown and covered in trees. There were also plenty of fallen trees and undergrowth that we had to scramble over. We got to the top of the hill, which was actually quite a big area and walked through the woods.
There was a castle at the top, although only the tower stood now - there were lots of big stones and rubble, indicating the castle had once been much bigger. Once we were on top of the hill, I realised there was snow on the other side of the hill, despite not remembering it being cold on the way up, I was now suddenly aware that it was winter and there was snow on the ground.
We went up to the tower that was still standing and took a look round. It was at this point we saw a rather threatening bunch of youths on crap motorbikes (the kind so crap you're allowed to ride them at 14). I'm sure they were harmless but we started heading back down the hill towards the car anyway. I started feeling bad that I'd made a judgement about these kids that was probably very harsh. I worried that I was turning into a Daily Mail reader, and that kinda ruined the dream!
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Dream 4
I was on a street in a town centre somewhere, there were lots of shops. I bumped into an old boss of mine from a few years back (one of the few bosses who wasn't a moron). We had a good chat and caught up. It was really good to see him again.
He asked after other people we worked with, although I explained I'd left that company a while back, so wasn't in touch with everyone there anymore. We went our separate ways and I wandered off down the street.
I went into a cool looking shop that was selling tops and t-shirts. There were some funky patterns and cartoon on the t-shirts. Inside the shop it was was dark, and there were loads of lava lamps and funky stuff that glows in the dark.
I was browsing through the products in the shop, I really liked the designs, but none of them were on normal t-shirts. All the cartoons I liked seemed to be on knitted tank-tops, I remember thinking, I really like that cartoon, but there's no way I'm going round in a knitted tank top.
I'm not really sure how the shop stayed in business!
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 6
Phew!
I woke this morning and at first cursed that the large block of mature cheddar I munched last night had failed to produce results. Then four dreams seeped into my consciousness, while it's common to have more than one dream, it's pretty rare to be able to clearly remember more than one or two distinctly. Four is unprecedented.
Dream 1
I was in a hotel and someone cast me in a play. The play was to be performed that evening, and there were to be no rehearsals for me. I voiced concern that trying to be in a play when I hadn't rehearsed and didn't know the lines probably wasn't going to end well. The director of the play told me not to worry as I only had two lines at the end.
The character I was playing was called Douglas, and my costume looked like baby clothes, as I had to wear grey shorts that had dungaree style straps. The costume was topped off with rubber pants. I was not pleased at the prospect of having to wear such a ridiculous get up and toyed with the idea of soiling the rubber pants just to annoy the costume department. I abandoned this idea as I decided it would be too uncomfortable and risk a rather embarrassing nappy rash. I didn't want people thinking I was one of those freaky 'Adult Baby' types.
The cast were milling about in the hotel waiting for the curtain call. I rushed up to my hotel room to get changed, although I got lost on the way. By the time I got changed and came back it was nearly time for me to go on, as I was in the last scene of the play. The play was very short and barely lasted an hour.
I went on and gave my two lines, which were something about 'assumption being the father of rumour' and 'but without assumption we can never know anything'. It all sounded like bollocks to me.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 8
Dream 2
I was a castaway on an island, actually to be more precise, I was one of many castaways on a series of large rocks. I had climbed to the top of this large rock, in search of somewhere to sleep, but occasionally huge waves would hit the rock and soak the whole thing.
There was a bigger rock next to mine with a group of people on it. I decided that I would try and get across to their rock. Between waves I made a run for it and climbed down my rock and up theirs.
When I got on to their rock and climbed to the top, there was a swimming pool with lots of sun loungers and a bar. I thought to myself 'this is more like it'. I curled up on a sun lounger and went to sleep.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 7
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 5
Dream 3
I was with my wife, and we were climbing up a very steep, but quite short hill. I realised that it must be a man made mound, probably for an ancient castle. Then I realised I'd been there before (despite not actually recognising any of it). I told my wife there was a pretty cool castle at the top that we should check out.
The mound was very overgrown and covered in trees. There were also plenty of fallen trees and undergrowth that we had to scramble over. We got to the top of the hill, which was actually quite a big area and walked through the woods.
There was a castle at the top, although only the tower stood now - there were lots of big stones and rubble, indicating the castle had once been much bigger. Once we were on top of the hill, I realised there was snow on the other side of the hill, despite not remembering it being cold on the way up, I was now suddenly aware that it was winter and there was snow on the ground.
We went up to the tower that was still standing and took a look round. It was at this point we saw a rather threatening bunch of youths on crap motorbikes (the kind so crap you're allowed to ride them at 14). I'm sure they were harmless but we started heading back down the hill towards the car anyway. I started feeling bad that I'd made a judgement about these kids that was probably very harsh. I worried that I was turning into a Daily Mail reader, and that kinda ruined the dream!
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Dream 4
I was on a street in a town centre somewhere, there were lots of shops. I bumped into an old boss of mine from a few years back (one of the few bosses who wasn't a moron). We had a good chat and caught up. It was really good to see him again.
He asked after other people we worked with, although I explained I'd left that company a while back, so wasn't in touch with everyone there anymore. We went our separate ways and I wandered off down the street.
I went into a cool looking shop that was selling tops and t-shirts. There were some funky patterns and cartoon on the t-shirts. Inside the shop it was was dark, and there were loads of lava lamps and funky stuff that glows in the dark.
I was browsing through the products in the shop, I really liked the designs, but none of them were on normal t-shirts. All the cartoons I liked seemed to be on knitted tank-tops, I remember thinking, I really like that cartoon, but there's no way I'm going round in a knitted tank top.
I'm not really sure how the shop stayed in business!
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 6
Phew!
Sunday 7 November 2010
Wake up laughing
Cheese: Cambozola (approx 100g)
I was at a large institution of some kind, a large school or a college or something. There were a lot of big open spaces and large buildings. People were coming and going, and it was difficult to see exactly what was going on.
I went into a large empty warehouse of some sort. There was a team of people working on a car, I asked them what they were doing, but they didn't really say much, other than that they were fixing up the car.
I wandered off and into another building. I walked into a large auditorium where a lecture had just started, I stood at the back. The man giving the lecture was phenomenally dull and sounded a bit like Brian Sewell, and was just as smug. It was so dull that I had completely tuned out and had no idea what the lecture was even about.
The lecture ended and everyone filed out. Everyone seemed to be heading over to a large field near the coast. There was a couple, I'm sure I recognised the man, but couldn't place him. They seemed to have made some kind of pact.
They both pulled out guns and pandemonium ensued, although they weren't pointing the guns at anyone, or firing them. They ran across the field towards the cliff and no-one was sure what they were doing.
There were gasps of horror as they both leaped off the cliff, and two gunshots were heard seconds later in what was clearly a suicide pact. Everyone was very distressed at what they had just seen, and people ran to the edge of the cliff.
The couple were swimming towards the shore, and towards the path up the side of the cliff. It was very confusing and no-one was sure what had happened as they got out of the sea and started walking up the path.
When they got to the top, they explained that firing a gun whilst falling was very difficult and they had both missed, also they hadn't realised the tide was in, so they landed safely in the water. Having survived the experience, they both commented that they had a new appreciation of life.
One of the staff from the buildings came out and insisted everyone attend an impromptu service of thanks and celebration of life. We all sat in the sunny field while this guy took this service. At one point he said we should all celebrate the finer things in life, and take great joy from the things we love.
He asked people to shout out the things they love about life. People started shouting things like 'Watching the sunset' and 'Being with family' and 'Being with a loved one'. At this point my sense of humour got the better of me and I shouted out 'Teabagging!'
I managed to laugh myself awake at this point!
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 10
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 6
Vividness: 7
I was at a large institution of some kind, a large school or a college or something. There were a lot of big open spaces and large buildings. People were coming and going, and it was difficult to see exactly what was going on.
I went into a large empty warehouse of some sort. There was a team of people working on a car, I asked them what they were doing, but they didn't really say much, other than that they were fixing up the car.
I wandered off and into another building. I walked into a large auditorium where a lecture had just started, I stood at the back. The man giving the lecture was phenomenally dull and sounded a bit like Brian Sewell, and was just as smug. It was so dull that I had completely tuned out and had no idea what the lecture was even about.
The lecture ended and everyone filed out. Everyone seemed to be heading over to a large field near the coast. There was a couple, I'm sure I recognised the man, but couldn't place him. They seemed to have made some kind of pact.
They both pulled out guns and pandemonium ensued, although they weren't pointing the guns at anyone, or firing them. They ran across the field towards the cliff and no-one was sure what they were doing.
There were gasps of horror as they both leaped off the cliff, and two gunshots were heard seconds later in what was clearly a suicide pact. Everyone was very distressed at what they had just seen, and people ran to the edge of the cliff.
The couple were swimming towards the shore, and towards the path up the side of the cliff. It was very confusing and no-one was sure what had happened as they got out of the sea and started walking up the path.
When they got to the top, they explained that firing a gun whilst falling was very difficult and they had both missed, also they hadn't realised the tide was in, so they landed safely in the water. Having survived the experience, they both commented that they had a new appreciation of life.
One of the staff from the buildings came out and insisted everyone attend an impromptu service of thanks and celebration of life. We all sat in the sunny field while this guy took this service. At one point he said we should all celebrate the finer things in life, and take great joy from the things we love.
He asked people to shout out the things they love about life. People started shouting things like 'Watching the sunset' and 'Being with family' and 'Being with a loved one'. At this point my sense of humour got the better of me and I shouted out 'Teabagging!'
I managed to laugh myself awake at this point!
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 10
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 6
Vividness: 7
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)