Cheese: Jervaulx Blue (approx 100g)
I believe this cheese is a variant of Wensleydale Blue.
I was in a hotel room, on the top floor of a very tall hotel. It was a sea front hotel in what looked like a British seaside town, although I'm not sure which one.
The room had a huge window area, but instead of one window it comprised of dozens of smaller windows, each of which had really strange opening mechanisms on them.
While I was in the room the weather started taking a turn for the worse, and I started trying to close all these windows. It was at this point I started to realise that the windows were quite crap as a lot of them didn't close properly and just about all of them were rattling or whistling in the wind.
As I was closing them, I looked out of the window and down on the beach. People were running from the beach as the storm was whipping waves up that were smashing into the seafront wall.
Once I'd shut up the windows as best I could, I left the room and went downstairs as the whistling and rattling was really annoying me.
I ended up in some dingy office with no windows, which seemed to be a place where I was supposed to be working. Before I could work out what I was supposed to be doing or who to ask, someone came in and asked me if I wanted to join in the office footie match, and obviously I was well up for that.
Unfortunately the footie match ended up being quite shit as I got stuck with a complete bunch of chumps who were lazy and useless. As a result we got completely hammered.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 5
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 2
Wednesday 29 September 2010
An Old Bag
Cheese: Reblochon (approx 100g)
I was in a bar that seemed to be under some railway arches - I'm not sure exactly, but it was certainly arched. It was being run by a girl I went to school with.
It was quite seedy and dirty but in an underground chic sort of a way. There was a band setting up inside, and lots of posters and fliers on the wall advertising bands, gigs and clubs. It was during the daytime and the bar was pretty quiet.
I'm not entirely sure what I was doing there, as I don't recall having a drink. Some people, including the girl running the bar, were huddled round. There was a black box - I'm not sure what was in it. They put the box into a really beat up old leather bag, with old fashioned clip fasteners at the top. The bag was leather, but the leather was really worn and the outer layer was flaking away quite badly.
They gave me the bag, and told me to look after it. I wandered off for a while and came back later. It was night by this time and the bar seemed a much more dangerous place. A lot of scantily clad women were hanging around outside - I'm pretty sure they were hookers, but couldn't be sure if they'd just gone out for a cigarette.
The bar was a bit of a dive and people were shooting up heroin inside. I dumped the bag with the bar staff and told them to give it to the manager, then I made a pretty hasty retreat.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
I was in a bar that seemed to be under some railway arches - I'm not sure exactly, but it was certainly arched. It was being run by a girl I went to school with.
It was quite seedy and dirty but in an underground chic sort of a way. There was a band setting up inside, and lots of posters and fliers on the wall advertising bands, gigs and clubs. It was during the daytime and the bar was pretty quiet.
I'm not entirely sure what I was doing there, as I don't recall having a drink. Some people, including the girl running the bar, were huddled round. There was a black box - I'm not sure what was in it. They put the box into a really beat up old leather bag, with old fashioned clip fasteners at the top. The bag was leather, but the leather was really worn and the outer layer was flaking away quite badly.
They gave me the bag, and told me to look after it. I wandered off for a while and came back later. It was night by this time and the bar seemed a much more dangerous place. A lot of scantily clad women were hanging around outside - I'm pretty sure they were hookers, but couldn't be sure if they'd just gone out for a cigarette.
The bar was a bit of a dive and people were shooting up heroin inside. I dumped the bag with the bar staff and told them to give it to the manager, then I made a pretty hasty retreat.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
Monday 20 September 2010
The Terminator and the Journey Home
Cheese: (Cheshire approx 70g)
I was in a very tall building in Los Angeles and there was a Terminator on the loose (like in the films), but this Terminator was not Arnold Schwarznegger, and he also seemed to have a sense of humour.
I got in a lift in the building to try and escape, but the Terminator got in the lift on another floor. I decided it was best not to let on that I knew he was a Terminator so I tried to be nonchalant and not let on that I knew.
He started cracking blue jokes, which were actually quite funny, so I didn't need to feign laughter. I noticed that the lift was moving up rather than down, and we were heading for the top floor.
When it stopped, I got out and wandered off. The building was very high and I there was a great view over the whole of LA. I looked down on big wide highways and the traffic which seemed to be speeding down them, there seemed to be a sense of panic on the streets and I wondered if there had been a whole invasion of Terminators.
I decided to head off and try to get to the airport. As I went back to the lift, the Terminator was there again. This time he seemed to be using the lift as a gigantic bomb. He was loading it with explosives.
He then got in it, shot the cable and the lift disappeared down the shaft with an almighty explosion at the bottom. I figured it was probably best to take the stairs. I hurried down many flights of stairs. At the bottom, there was a gunfight going on between security forces and the terminator. I escaped from the building as fast as I could.
I headed to the airport and got a flight back to Heathrow - although I remember very little of this.
At Heathrow there were problems with connecting flights up to my hometown. The flight took off, but had barely got off the ground when it had to make an emergency landing.
One of the other passengers told me about a secret labyrinth that could get me home - if I could find my way through it. Against my better judgment I went in to the labyrinth. It seemed to be a series of rooms, and each room was some sort of puzzle that you had to solve to get out.
At this point it all becomes a bit of a blur. There was one room that was full of shoes, and I had to put on the correct pair of shoes to get out. Another one was a game of rugby at a high school. Another involved giving some ex-workmates a lift down a road on the side of a big lake.
The last game was in some sort of town centre when I bumped into some old school friends. I figured out (I'm not sure how) that I needed to go with them to a coffee shop and order a black fruit smoothie.
Once I'd done this, I walked out of the coffee shop and was in my hometown and caught the bus home.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 6
I was in a very tall building in Los Angeles and there was a Terminator on the loose (like in the films), but this Terminator was not Arnold Schwarznegger, and he also seemed to have a sense of humour.
I got in a lift in the building to try and escape, but the Terminator got in the lift on another floor. I decided it was best not to let on that I knew he was a Terminator so I tried to be nonchalant and not let on that I knew.
He started cracking blue jokes, which were actually quite funny, so I didn't need to feign laughter. I noticed that the lift was moving up rather than down, and we were heading for the top floor.
When it stopped, I got out and wandered off. The building was very high and I there was a great view over the whole of LA. I looked down on big wide highways and the traffic which seemed to be speeding down them, there seemed to be a sense of panic on the streets and I wondered if there had been a whole invasion of Terminators.
I decided to head off and try to get to the airport. As I went back to the lift, the Terminator was there again. This time he seemed to be using the lift as a gigantic bomb. He was loading it with explosives.
He then got in it, shot the cable and the lift disappeared down the shaft with an almighty explosion at the bottom. I figured it was probably best to take the stairs. I hurried down many flights of stairs. At the bottom, there was a gunfight going on between security forces and the terminator. I escaped from the building as fast as I could.
I headed to the airport and got a flight back to Heathrow - although I remember very little of this.
At Heathrow there were problems with connecting flights up to my hometown. The flight took off, but had barely got off the ground when it had to make an emergency landing.
One of the other passengers told me about a secret labyrinth that could get me home - if I could find my way through it. Against my better judgment I went in to the labyrinth. It seemed to be a series of rooms, and each room was some sort of puzzle that you had to solve to get out.
At this point it all becomes a bit of a blur. There was one room that was full of shoes, and I had to put on the correct pair of shoes to get out. Another one was a game of rugby at a high school. Another involved giving some ex-workmates a lift down a road on the side of a big lake.
The last game was in some sort of town centre when I bumped into some old school friends. I figured out (I'm not sure how) that I needed to go with them to a coffee shop and order a black fruit smoothie.
Once I'd done this, I walked out of the coffee shop and was in my hometown and caught the bus home.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 6
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