Fire Escape

Cheese: Stilton (approx. 100g)

I was in a very large single storey building. I seemed to be staying there when the roof caught fire. At first this was pretty terrifying, I ran to find my wife and cheese surfer jr and hurriedly took them out of the building.

The building was in large grounds, and there was a lot going on, but few people seemed to be bothered by the fire. Someone said that the fire brigade had been called and were on their way. I watched the roof as it burnt in a very timid fashion. Whatever the roof was made of, it clearly didn't burn very well.

In a field next to the building there was a game of cricket going on, and having lost interest in the fire I thought I'd go and see if I could join in. The people seemed quite pleased to welcome me to the game and after a bit of fielding in the out field, I was offered an over of bowling.

It was at this point that I realised the batsman was Sachin Tendulkar, former India captain and world record breaking batsman. I decided to just bowl as hard as I could and I managed to get him out with a leg stump yorker. The ball hit the very top of the stump and bounced off up in the air. Umpire Alan Davies had no hesitation in raising the finger.

After much celebration I went back to the burning building. The fire brigade still hadn't arrived and people were going in and out of the building. The roof being on fire seemed to be a fairly normal state. So I went back into the building and found my into a classroom where I sat in on a lesson of Mongolian for beginners. I can't remember any Mongolian though.

After a while I went back outside, only to see a large group of people gathered around in the car park. When I got closer, I could see there was some sort of fight going on, and it was a fight between a Wookie (the fictional hairy creatures from the Star Wars films) and a giant gibbon. And this gibbon was huge.

Even so the Wookie seemed to be winning. After a while the gibbon ran off and the crowd dispersed. Then Lemmy from Motorhead turned up selling ice creams.

Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 7
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 5
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 6