Cheese: Swaledale Old Peculier (Swaledale matured in Old Peculier stout - approx 100g)
I was wandering through central London when I saw former mayor Ken Livingstone standing next to me at a pedestrian crossing. I said hello and we got chatting. He was very down on himself after a televised mayoral debate had gone badly for him. I tried to cheer him up a bit as he seemed genuinely depressed about it.
After a while we said bye and went our separate ways. At this point my phone rang and it was my dad to tell me one of my relatives had died, and I had to meet everyone for the funeral. This part of the dream seemed very real, and when I woke up later, for a minute or two I wondered if this person had died.
I got on a train out of London and went to this hotel where everyone was staying for the funeral. I had to check in for the night as the funeral was the next day. I greeted all my relatives and the mood was pretty sombre.
Once I was in my hotel room, my phone rang again and this time it was my friend who lives in Australia. Bizarrely he told me that his relative had died too, which seemed really strange.
The next day, I got up and went down for breakfast, as I walked down, I passed a room with the door propped open. I could see two people inside, and I definitely knew the guy but couldn't place him. He had a much younger beautiful girl with him.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 8
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Chinese Fashion
Cheese: Ticklemore (100g)
I was at some big conference or meeting in China. I'm not sure what it was about or why I was there, but I think it was Shanghai as I remember seeing a Maglev train.
I didn't really know what was going on, but it seemed to be vaguely fashion based as there were an awful lot of clothes on display, and I remember seeing what looked like fashion company logos everywhere.
The atmosphere turned a bit sour when a load of people turned up to demonstrate. I wasn't sure what about at first, but then it became clear that they were a bunch of people who worked in a sweatshop making clothes. There was a man at the front of the group with a loud hailer, who I recognised as Peter Tatchell.
He was making a big fuss about the plight of these people, and probably rightly so, but I couldn't help but think 'Why is this man just so annoying?' He started going up to the various stalls and quizzing the staff at them and the people buying stuff, saying things like 'Do you realise these garments are made by people who are treated like slaves?'
I hadn't even turned up to buy anything, I seemed to be there by accident. Then he made eye contact with me. I realised I had two choices, either start chanting one of his slogans or get press-ganged by him. While I certainly thought his cause was noble, the man was just too much of an irritant for me to join forces with, so I quickly dived behind a stall and hid.
I managed to stay hidden while he marched past. I looked around and saw a great pair of trainers, I had a moral quandary for a second where I realised that it would immoral to buy them, but would it be morally OK to rob them?
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 4
I was at some big conference or meeting in China. I'm not sure what it was about or why I was there, but I think it was Shanghai as I remember seeing a Maglev train.
I didn't really know what was going on, but it seemed to be vaguely fashion based as there were an awful lot of clothes on display, and I remember seeing what looked like fashion company logos everywhere.
The atmosphere turned a bit sour when a load of people turned up to demonstrate. I wasn't sure what about at first, but then it became clear that they were a bunch of people who worked in a sweatshop making clothes. There was a man at the front of the group with a loud hailer, who I recognised as Peter Tatchell.
He was making a big fuss about the plight of these people, and probably rightly so, but I couldn't help but think 'Why is this man just so annoying?' He started going up to the various stalls and quizzing the staff at them and the people buying stuff, saying things like 'Do you realise these garments are made by people who are treated like slaves?'
I hadn't even turned up to buy anything, I seemed to be there by accident. Then he made eye contact with me. I realised I had two choices, either start chanting one of his slogans or get press-ganged by him. While I certainly thought his cause was noble, the man was just too much of an irritant for me to join forces with, so I quickly dived behind a stall and hid.
I managed to stay hidden while he marched past. I looked around and saw a great pair of trainers, I had a moral quandary for a second where I realised that it would immoral to buy them, but would it be morally OK to rob them?
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 4
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Furniture in the 80s
Cheese: Unsure as it was bought for me, but suspected to be Yorkshire Blue (approx. 100g)
I was in some sort of furniture / home wares store. I was with my wife and a few other people, the furniture in there seemed to be of an out of date contemporary style, probably quite 80s.
I then began to notice that they had some electrical equipment for sale too, and this equipment was also quite dated. There were old style VCRs and cassette tape decks. There were also cassette tapes for sale.
I found a limited edition version of The Stone Roses' debut album with some extra tracks that I'd never heard. I was quite tempted to buy it but then realised that I no longer have a tape deck on which to play it.
I also realised that two of my cousins were there, however they were both there as young kids, not the fully grown up people they are now. They were running round like nutters just as they did when they were kids.
My little cousin launched himself into a large armchair, which duly toppled over and broke. He got up and nonchalantly ran off.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
I was in some sort of furniture / home wares store. I was with my wife and a few other people, the furniture in there seemed to be of an out of date contemporary style, probably quite 80s.
I then began to notice that they had some electrical equipment for sale too, and this equipment was also quite dated. There were old style VCRs and cassette tape decks. There were also cassette tapes for sale.
I found a limited edition version of The Stone Roses' debut album with some extra tracks that I'd never heard. I was quite tempted to buy it but then realised that I no longer have a tape deck on which to play it.
I also realised that two of my cousins were there, however they were both there as young kids, not the fully grown up people they are now. They were running round like nutters just as they did when they were kids.
My little cousin launched himself into a large armchair, which duly toppled over and broke. He got up and nonchalantly ran off.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Monday, 4 October 2010
Strange Visions
Cheese: Idiazabal (approx 100g)
I had the most active night for a while on this stuff, giving me two quite vivid dreams.
Dream 1
I was at a Jane's Addiction gig with my scouse mate who absolutely hammered. It seemed a little strange as the singer had grown his hair very long, and I started to wonder if we'd gone back in time.
We were quite near the front and a large man in a grubby pink boiler suit kept stage diving and crowd surfing. I wasn't sure what the pink boiler suit was about, but thankfully he didn't come too near us.
After the gig we made our way home and went through a shopping mall. I went into Boots to buy my wife a present. We got back to what must have been my mate's flat, but it was an absolute tip. I decided to take the dog for a walk, and took him for a walk on a foot path by a railway line.
When I got back, my mate's Australian girlfriend had tidied the flat and it was absolutely spotless. By this time it was the morning and she was making a cooked breakfast.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 3
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Dream 2
I was at football training, but I didn't know anyone there. After some basic training, we were herded into a room where we were shown a health and safety video. The video showed a petrol tanker ploughing into a petrol station, completely demolishing the petrol station. I was unsure what this had to do with football.
The guy showing us the video seemed very intense and I was taking quite a dislike to him. Out of the blue he started going on about what a great thing the Iraq war was and how it was completely the right thing to do. By this point I really was wondering what on earth this had to do with playing football.
Thankfully, after talking some more bollocks, he shut up and let us go back outside where we had a match to play. The match kicked off, but it was pretty crap and I could barely get a touch. I remember thinking that I was wasting my time.
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 3
Amusement Factor: 2
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 6
I had the most active night for a while on this stuff, giving me two quite vivid dreams.
Dream 1
I was at a Jane's Addiction gig with my scouse mate who absolutely hammered. It seemed a little strange as the singer had grown his hair very long, and I started to wonder if we'd gone back in time.
We were quite near the front and a large man in a grubby pink boiler suit kept stage diving and crowd surfing. I wasn't sure what the pink boiler suit was about, but thankfully he didn't come too near us.
After the gig we made our way home and went through a shopping mall. I went into Boots to buy my wife a present. We got back to what must have been my mate's flat, but it was an absolute tip. I decided to take the dog for a walk, and took him for a walk on a foot path by a railway line.
When I got back, my mate's Australian girlfriend had tidied the flat and it was absolutely spotless. By this time it was the morning and she was making a cooked breakfast.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 3
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Dream 2
I was at football training, but I didn't know anyone there. After some basic training, we were herded into a room where we were shown a health and safety video. The video showed a petrol tanker ploughing into a petrol station, completely demolishing the petrol station. I was unsure what this had to do with football.
The guy showing us the video seemed very intense and I was taking quite a dislike to him. Out of the blue he started going on about what a great thing the Iraq war was and how it was completely the right thing to do. By this point I really was wondering what on earth this had to do with playing football.
Thankfully, after talking some more bollocks, he shut up and let us go back outside where we had a match to play. The match kicked off, but it was pretty crap and I could barely get a touch. I remember thinking that I was wasting my time.
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 3
Amusement Factor: 2
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 6
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Creaky Windows
Cheese: Jervaulx Blue (approx 100g)
I believe this cheese is a variant of Wensleydale Blue.
I was in a hotel room, on the top floor of a very tall hotel. It was a sea front hotel in what looked like a British seaside town, although I'm not sure which one.
The room had a huge window area, but instead of one window it comprised of dozens of smaller windows, each of which had really strange opening mechanisms on them.
While I was in the room the weather started taking a turn for the worse, and I started trying to close all these windows. It was at this point I started to realise that the windows were quite crap as a lot of them didn't close properly and just about all of them were rattling or whistling in the wind.
As I was closing them, I looked out of the window and down on the beach. People were running from the beach as the storm was whipping waves up that were smashing into the seafront wall.
Once I'd shut up the windows as best I could, I left the room and went downstairs as the whistling and rattling was really annoying me.
I ended up in some dingy office with no windows, which seemed to be a place where I was supposed to be working. Before I could work out what I was supposed to be doing or who to ask, someone came in and asked me if I wanted to join in the office footie match, and obviously I was well up for that.
Unfortunately the footie match ended up being quite shit as I got stuck with a complete bunch of chumps who were lazy and useless. As a result we got completely hammered.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 5
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 2
I believe this cheese is a variant of Wensleydale Blue.
I was in a hotel room, on the top floor of a very tall hotel. It was a sea front hotel in what looked like a British seaside town, although I'm not sure which one.
The room had a huge window area, but instead of one window it comprised of dozens of smaller windows, each of which had really strange opening mechanisms on them.
While I was in the room the weather started taking a turn for the worse, and I started trying to close all these windows. It was at this point I started to realise that the windows were quite crap as a lot of them didn't close properly and just about all of them were rattling or whistling in the wind.
As I was closing them, I looked out of the window and down on the beach. People were running from the beach as the storm was whipping waves up that were smashing into the seafront wall.
Once I'd shut up the windows as best I could, I left the room and went downstairs as the whistling and rattling was really annoying me.
I ended up in some dingy office with no windows, which seemed to be a place where I was supposed to be working. Before I could work out what I was supposed to be doing or who to ask, someone came in and asked me if I wanted to join in the office footie match, and obviously I was well up for that.
Unfortunately the footie match ended up being quite shit as I got stuck with a complete bunch of chumps who were lazy and useless. As a result we got completely hammered.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 5
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 2
An Old Bag
Cheese: Reblochon (approx 100g)
I was in a bar that seemed to be under some railway arches - I'm not sure exactly, but it was certainly arched. It was being run by a girl I went to school with.
It was quite seedy and dirty but in an underground chic sort of a way. There was a band setting up inside, and lots of posters and fliers on the wall advertising bands, gigs and clubs. It was during the daytime and the bar was pretty quiet.
I'm not entirely sure what I was doing there, as I don't recall having a drink. Some people, including the girl running the bar, were huddled round. There was a black box - I'm not sure what was in it. They put the box into a really beat up old leather bag, with old fashioned clip fasteners at the top. The bag was leather, but the leather was really worn and the outer layer was flaking away quite badly.
They gave me the bag, and told me to look after it. I wandered off for a while and came back later. It was night by this time and the bar seemed a much more dangerous place. A lot of scantily clad women were hanging around outside - I'm pretty sure they were hookers, but couldn't be sure if they'd just gone out for a cigarette.
The bar was a bit of a dive and people were shooting up heroin inside. I dumped the bag with the bar staff and told them to give it to the manager, then I made a pretty hasty retreat.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
I was in a bar that seemed to be under some railway arches - I'm not sure exactly, but it was certainly arched. It was being run by a girl I went to school with.
It was quite seedy and dirty but in an underground chic sort of a way. There was a band setting up inside, and lots of posters and fliers on the wall advertising bands, gigs and clubs. It was during the daytime and the bar was pretty quiet.
I'm not entirely sure what I was doing there, as I don't recall having a drink. Some people, including the girl running the bar, were huddled round. There was a black box - I'm not sure what was in it. They put the box into a really beat up old leather bag, with old fashioned clip fasteners at the top. The bag was leather, but the leather was really worn and the outer layer was flaking away quite badly.
They gave me the bag, and told me to look after it. I wandered off for a while and came back later. It was night by this time and the bar seemed a much more dangerous place. A lot of scantily clad women were hanging around outside - I'm pretty sure they were hookers, but couldn't be sure if they'd just gone out for a cigarette.
The bar was a bit of a dive and people were shooting up heroin inside. I dumped the bag with the bar staff and told them to give it to the manager, then I made a pretty hasty retreat.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 3
Monday, 20 September 2010
The Terminator and the Journey Home
Cheese: (Cheshire approx 70g)
I was in a very tall building in Los Angeles and there was a Terminator on the loose (like in the films), but this Terminator was not Arnold Schwarznegger, and he also seemed to have a sense of humour.
I got in a lift in the building to try and escape, but the Terminator got in the lift on another floor. I decided it was best not to let on that I knew he was a Terminator so I tried to be nonchalant and not let on that I knew.
He started cracking blue jokes, which were actually quite funny, so I didn't need to feign laughter. I noticed that the lift was moving up rather than down, and we were heading for the top floor.
When it stopped, I got out and wandered off. The building was very high and I there was a great view over the whole of LA. I looked down on big wide highways and the traffic which seemed to be speeding down them, there seemed to be a sense of panic on the streets and I wondered if there had been a whole invasion of Terminators.
I decided to head off and try to get to the airport. As I went back to the lift, the Terminator was there again. This time he seemed to be using the lift as a gigantic bomb. He was loading it with explosives.
He then got in it, shot the cable and the lift disappeared down the shaft with an almighty explosion at the bottom. I figured it was probably best to take the stairs. I hurried down many flights of stairs. At the bottom, there was a gunfight going on between security forces and the terminator. I escaped from the building as fast as I could.
I headed to the airport and got a flight back to Heathrow - although I remember very little of this.
At Heathrow there were problems with connecting flights up to my hometown. The flight took off, but had barely got off the ground when it had to make an emergency landing.
One of the other passengers told me about a secret labyrinth that could get me home - if I could find my way through it. Against my better judgment I went in to the labyrinth. It seemed to be a series of rooms, and each room was some sort of puzzle that you had to solve to get out.
At this point it all becomes a bit of a blur. There was one room that was full of shoes, and I had to put on the correct pair of shoes to get out. Another one was a game of rugby at a high school. Another involved giving some ex-workmates a lift down a road on the side of a big lake.
The last game was in some sort of town centre when I bumped into some old school friends. I figured out (I'm not sure how) that I needed to go with them to a coffee shop and order a black fruit smoothie.
Once I'd done this, I walked out of the coffee shop and was in my hometown and caught the bus home.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 6
I was in a very tall building in Los Angeles and there was a Terminator on the loose (like in the films), but this Terminator was not Arnold Schwarznegger, and he also seemed to have a sense of humour.
I got in a lift in the building to try and escape, but the Terminator got in the lift on another floor. I decided it was best not to let on that I knew he was a Terminator so I tried to be nonchalant and not let on that I knew.
He started cracking blue jokes, which were actually quite funny, so I didn't need to feign laughter. I noticed that the lift was moving up rather than down, and we were heading for the top floor.
When it stopped, I got out and wandered off. The building was very high and I there was a great view over the whole of LA. I looked down on big wide highways and the traffic which seemed to be speeding down them, there seemed to be a sense of panic on the streets and I wondered if there had been a whole invasion of Terminators.
I decided to head off and try to get to the airport. As I went back to the lift, the Terminator was there again. This time he seemed to be using the lift as a gigantic bomb. He was loading it with explosives.
He then got in it, shot the cable and the lift disappeared down the shaft with an almighty explosion at the bottom. I figured it was probably best to take the stairs. I hurried down many flights of stairs. At the bottom, there was a gunfight going on between security forces and the terminator. I escaped from the building as fast as I could.
I headed to the airport and got a flight back to Heathrow - although I remember very little of this.
At Heathrow there were problems with connecting flights up to my hometown. The flight took off, but had barely got off the ground when it had to make an emergency landing.
One of the other passengers told me about a secret labyrinth that could get me home - if I could find my way through it. Against my better judgment I went in to the labyrinth. It seemed to be a series of rooms, and each room was some sort of puzzle that you had to solve to get out.
At this point it all becomes a bit of a blur. There was one room that was full of shoes, and I had to put on the correct pair of shoes to get out. Another one was a game of rugby at a high school. Another involved giving some ex-workmates a lift down a road on the side of a big lake.
The last game was in some sort of town centre when I bumped into some old school friends. I figured out (I'm not sure how) that I needed to go with them to a coffee shop and order a black fruit smoothie.
Once I'd done this, I walked out of the coffee shop and was in my hometown and caught the bus home.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 6
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