Cheese: Ashmore Farmhouse Cheddar (approx 100g)
I woke this morning and at first cursed that the large block of mature cheddar I munched last night had failed to produce results. Then four dreams seeped into my consciousness, while it's common to have more than one dream, it's pretty rare to be able to clearly remember more than one or two distinctly. Four is unprecedented.
Dream 1
I was in a hotel and someone cast me in a play. The play was to be performed that evening, and there were to be no rehearsals for me. I voiced concern that trying to be in a play when I hadn't rehearsed and didn't know the lines probably wasn't going to end well. The director of the play told me not to worry as I only had two lines at the end.
The character I was playing was called Douglas, and my costume looked like baby clothes, as I had to wear grey shorts that had dungaree style straps. The costume was topped off with rubber pants. I was not pleased at the prospect of having to wear such a ridiculous get up and toyed with the idea of soiling the rubber pants just to annoy the costume department. I abandoned this idea as I decided it would be too uncomfortable and risk a rather embarrassing nappy rash. I didn't want people thinking I was one of those freaky 'Adult Baby' types.
The cast were milling about in the hotel waiting for the curtain call. I rushed up to my hotel room to get changed, although I got lost on the way. By the time I got changed and came back it was nearly time for me to go on, as I was in the last scene of the play. The play was very short and barely lasted an hour.
I went on and gave my two lines, which were something about 'assumption being the father of rumour' and 'but without assumption we can never know anything'. It all sounded like bollocks to me.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 8
Dream 2
I was a castaway on an island, actually to be more precise, I was one of many castaways on a series of large rocks. I had climbed to the top of this large rock, in search of somewhere to sleep, but occasionally huge waves would hit the rock and soak the whole thing.
There was a bigger rock next to mine with a group of people on it. I decided that I would try and get across to their rock. Between waves I made a run for it and climbed down my rock and up theirs.
When I got on to their rock and climbed to the top, there was a swimming pool with lots of sun loungers and a bar. I thought to myself 'this is more like it'. I curled up on a sun lounger and went to sleep.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 7
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Coherence: 4
Vividness: 5
Dream 3
I was with my wife, and we were climbing up a very steep, but quite short hill. I realised that it must be a man made mound, probably for an ancient castle. Then I realised I'd been there before (despite not actually recognising any of it). I told my wife there was a pretty cool castle at the top that we should check out.
The mound was very overgrown and covered in trees. There were also plenty of fallen trees and undergrowth that we had to scramble over. We got to the top of the hill, which was actually quite a big area and walked through the woods.
There was a castle at the top, although only the tower stood now - there were lots of big stones and rubble, indicating the castle had once been much bigger. Once we were on top of the hill, I realised there was snow on the other side of the hill, despite not remembering it being cold on the way up, I was now suddenly aware that it was winter and there was snow on the ground.
We went up to the tower that was still standing and took a look round. It was at this point we saw a rather threatening bunch of youths on crap motorbikes (the kind so crap you're allowed to ride them at 14). I'm sure they were harmless but we started heading back down the hill towards the car anyway. I started feeling bad that I'd made a judgement about these kids that was probably very harsh. I worried that I was turning into a Daily Mail reader, and that kinda ruined the dream!
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
Dream 4
I was on a street in a town centre somewhere, there were lots of shops. I bumped into an old boss of mine from a few years back (one of the few bosses who wasn't a moron). We had a good chat and caught up. It was really good to see him again.
He asked after other people we worked with, although I explained I'd left that company a while back, so wasn't in touch with everyone there anymore. We went our separate ways and I wandered off down the street.
I went into a cool looking shop that was selling tops and t-shirts. There were some funky patterns and cartoon on the t-shirts. Inside the shop it was was dark, and there were loads of lava lamps and funky stuff that glows in the dark.
I was browsing through the products in the shop, I really liked the designs, but none of them were on normal t-shirts. All the cartoons I liked seemed to be on knitted tank-tops, I remember thinking, I really like that cartoon, but there's no way I'm going round in a knitted tank top.
I'm not really sure how the shop stayed in business!
Freakiness: 4
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 6
Phew!
Monday, 8 November 2010
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Wake up laughing
Cheese: Cambozola (approx 100g)
I was at a large institution of some kind, a large school or a college or something. There were a lot of big open spaces and large buildings. People were coming and going, and it was difficult to see exactly what was going on.
I went into a large empty warehouse of some sort. There was a team of people working on a car, I asked them what they were doing, but they didn't really say much, other than that they were fixing up the car.
I wandered off and into another building. I walked into a large auditorium where a lecture had just started, I stood at the back. The man giving the lecture was phenomenally dull and sounded a bit like Brian Sewell, and was just as smug. It was so dull that I had completely tuned out and had no idea what the lecture was even about.
The lecture ended and everyone filed out. Everyone seemed to be heading over to a large field near the coast. There was a couple, I'm sure I recognised the man, but couldn't place him. They seemed to have made some kind of pact.
They both pulled out guns and pandemonium ensued, although they weren't pointing the guns at anyone, or firing them. They ran across the field towards the cliff and no-one was sure what they were doing.
There were gasps of horror as they both leaped off the cliff, and two gunshots were heard seconds later in what was clearly a suicide pact. Everyone was very distressed at what they had just seen, and people ran to the edge of the cliff.
The couple were swimming towards the shore, and towards the path up the side of the cliff. It was very confusing and no-one was sure what had happened as they got out of the sea and started walking up the path.
When they got to the top, they explained that firing a gun whilst falling was very difficult and they had both missed, also they hadn't realised the tide was in, so they landed safely in the water. Having survived the experience, they both commented that they had a new appreciation of life.
One of the staff from the buildings came out and insisted everyone attend an impromptu service of thanks and celebration of life. We all sat in the sunny field while this guy took this service. At one point he said we should all celebrate the finer things in life, and take great joy from the things we love.
He asked people to shout out the things they love about life. People started shouting things like 'Watching the sunset' and 'Being with family' and 'Being with a loved one'. At this point my sense of humour got the better of me and I shouted out 'Teabagging!'
I managed to laugh myself awake at this point!
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 10
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 6
Vividness: 7
I was at a large institution of some kind, a large school or a college or something. There were a lot of big open spaces and large buildings. People were coming and going, and it was difficult to see exactly what was going on.
I went into a large empty warehouse of some sort. There was a team of people working on a car, I asked them what they were doing, but they didn't really say much, other than that they were fixing up the car.
I wandered off and into another building. I walked into a large auditorium where a lecture had just started, I stood at the back. The man giving the lecture was phenomenally dull and sounded a bit like Brian Sewell, and was just as smug. It was so dull that I had completely tuned out and had no idea what the lecture was even about.
The lecture ended and everyone filed out. Everyone seemed to be heading over to a large field near the coast. There was a couple, I'm sure I recognised the man, but couldn't place him. They seemed to have made some kind of pact.
They both pulled out guns and pandemonium ensued, although they weren't pointing the guns at anyone, or firing them. They ran across the field towards the cliff and no-one was sure what they were doing.
There were gasps of horror as they both leaped off the cliff, and two gunshots were heard seconds later in what was clearly a suicide pact. Everyone was very distressed at what they had just seen, and people ran to the edge of the cliff.
The couple were swimming towards the shore, and towards the path up the side of the cliff. It was very confusing and no-one was sure what had happened as they got out of the sea and started walking up the path.
When they got to the top, they explained that firing a gun whilst falling was very difficult and they had both missed, also they hadn't realised the tide was in, so they landed safely in the water. Having survived the experience, they both commented that they had a new appreciation of life.
One of the staff from the buildings came out and insisted everyone attend an impromptu service of thanks and celebration of life. We all sat in the sunny field while this guy took this service. At one point he said we should all celebrate the finer things in life, and take great joy from the things we love.
He asked people to shout out the things they love about life. People started shouting things like 'Watching the sunset' and 'Being with family' and 'Being with a loved one'. At this point my sense of humour got the better of me and I shouted out 'Teabagging!'
I managed to laugh myself awake at this point!
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 10
Enjoyability: 7
Coherence: 6
Vividness: 7
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Interview
Cheese: Cropwell Bishop (approx. 100g)
This was a very short dream. I was in a room being interviewed by a man for a job I didn't want. I tried to explain that I didn't want the job, but he just kept going. Eventually I just got up and walked out. While the dream was very short, it was extremely vivid, and I was on the verge of finding my hands and trying to go through Casteneda's first gate dreaming. I was certainly in a position to be aware of what I needed to try.
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 10
This was a very short dream. I was in a room being interviewed by a man for a job I didn't want. I tried to explain that I didn't want the job, but he just kept going. Eventually I just got up and walked out. While the dream was very short, it was extremely vivid, and I was on the verge of finding my hands and trying to go through Casteneda's first gate dreaming. I was certainly in a position to be aware of what I needed to try.
Freakiness: 8
Nightmare Factor: 6
Amusement Factor: 3
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 10
Cows
Cheese: Cashel Blue (approx. 100g)
There was a construction site next door to my parents' house. I'm not sure why I was there, but I was attached to in some way.
As I looked out on the street, there was a herd of cows wandering out of one of the neighbours' garden due to a gate that had been left open. I rushed out to try and usher the cows back into the garden. I managed to get all but one of them back in, and I shut the gate. The one that escaped had disappeared down the road, and was running away. I decided not to give chase.
I went back to the large building that was under construction - it was almost finished, and the ground floor was pretty much done. A load of former colleagues suddenly turned up and dropped in for lunch. Some of them explained that things had got very bad at their work and were trying to persuade me to come back and help. I politely refused.
We ate some lunch and then they all had to go back to work, so they left. I decided I needed a dump and went upstairs. There was a really nice bathroom upstairs, with a beautiful toilet that was begging to be christened. However, outside the builders were still putting windows in, and I really didn't fancy being watched while taking a dump - if there's one thing sure to ruin a good dump it's being watched.
I was waiting for them to move out of view, but I was also desperate to go. Thankfully, they moved out of view just in time and I took a really enjoyable shit.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 5
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 6
There was a construction site next door to my parents' house. I'm not sure why I was there, but I was attached to in some way.
As I looked out on the street, there was a herd of cows wandering out of one of the neighbours' garden due to a gate that had been left open. I rushed out to try and usher the cows back into the garden. I managed to get all but one of them back in, and I shut the gate. The one that escaped had disappeared down the road, and was running away. I decided not to give chase.
I went back to the large building that was under construction - it was almost finished, and the ground floor was pretty much done. A load of former colleagues suddenly turned up and dropped in for lunch. Some of them explained that things had got very bad at their work and were trying to persuade me to come back and help. I politely refused.
We ate some lunch and then they all had to go back to work, so they left. I decided I needed a dump and went upstairs. There was a really nice bathroom upstairs, with a beautiful toilet that was begging to be christened. However, outside the builders were still putting windows in, and I really didn't fancy being watched while taking a dump - if there's one thing sure to ruin a good dump it's being watched.
I was waiting for them to move out of view, but I was also desperate to go. Thankfully, they moved out of view just in time and I took a really enjoyable shit.
Freakiness: 6
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 5
Coherence: 8
Vividness: 6
Sunday, 24 October 2010
The Dark Side
Cheese: Swaledale Old Peculier (Swaledale matured in Old Peculier stout - approx 100g)
I was wandering through central London when I saw former mayor Ken Livingstone standing next to me at a pedestrian crossing. I said hello and we got chatting. He was very down on himself after a televised mayoral debate had gone badly for him. I tried to cheer him up a bit as he seemed genuinely depressed about it.
After a while we said bye and went our separate ways. At this point my phone rang and it was my dad to tell me one of my relatives had died, and I had to meet everyone for the funeral. This part of the dream seemed very real, and when I woke up later, for a minute or two I wondered if this person had died.
I got on a train out of London and went to this hotel where everyone was staying for the funeral. I had to check in for the night as the funeral was the next day. I greeted all my relatives and the mood was pretty sombre.
Once I was in my hotel room, my phone rang again and this time it was my friend who lives in Australia. Bizarrely he told me that his relative had died too, which seemed really strange.
The next day, I got up and went down for breakfast, as I walked down, I passed a room with the door propped open. I could see two people inside, and I definitely knew the guy but couldn't place him. He had a much younger beautiful girl with him.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 8
I was wandering through central London when I saw former mayor Ken Livingstone standing next to me at a pedestrian crossing. I said hello and we got chatting. He was very down on himself after a televised mayoral debate had gone badly for him. I tried to cheer him up a bit as he seemed genuinely depressed about it.
After a while we said bye and went our separate ways. At this point my phone rang and it was my dad to tell me one of my relatives had died, and I had to meet everyone for the funeral. This part of the dream seemed very real, and when I woke up later, for a minute or two I wondered if this person had died.
I got on a train out of London and went to this hotel where everyone was staying for the funeral. I had to check in for the night as the funeral was the next day. I greeted all my relatives and the mood was pretty sombre.
Once I was in my hotel room, my phone rang again and this time it was my friend who lives in Australia. Bizarrely he told me that his relative had died too, which seemed really strange.
The next day, I got up and went down for breakfast, as I walked down, I passed a room with the door propped open. I could see two people inside, and I definitely knew the guy but couldn't place him. He had a much younger beautiful girl with him.
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 8
Amusement Factor: 4
Enjoyability: 3
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 8
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Chinese Fashion
Cheese: Ticklemore (100g)
I was at some big conference or meeting in China. I'm not sure what it was about or why I was there, but I think it was Shanghai as I remember seeing a Maglev train.
I didn't really know what was going on, but it seemed to be vaguely fashion based as there were an awful lot of clothes on display, and I remember seeing what looked like fashion company logos everywhere.
The atmosphere turned a bit sour when a load of people turned up to demonstrate. I wasn't sure what about at first, but then it became clear that they were a bunch of people who worked in a sweatshop making clothes. There was a man at the front of the group with a loud hailer, who I recognised as Peter Tatchell.
He was making a big fuss about the plight of these people, and probably rightly so, but I couldn't help but think 'Why is this man just so annoying?' He started going up to the various stalls and quizzing the staff at them and the people buying stuff, saying things like 'Do you realise these garments are made by people who are treated like slaves?'
I hadn't even turned up to buy anything, I seemed to be there by accident. Then he made eye contact with me. I realised I had two choices, either start chanting one of his slogans or get press-ganged by him. While I certainly thought his cause was noble, the man was just too much of an irritant for me to join forces with, so I quickly dived behind a stall and hid.
I managed to stay hidden while he marched past. I looked around and saw a great pair of trainers, I had a moral quandary for a second where I realised that it would immoral to buy them, but would it be morally OK to rob them?
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 4
I was at some big conference or meeting in China. I'm not sure what it was about or why I was there, but I think it was Shanghai as I remember seeing a Maglev train.
I didn't really know what was going on, but it seemed to be vaguely fashion based as there were an awful lot of clothes on display, and I remember seeing what looked like fashion company logos everywhere.
The atmosphere turned a bit sour when a load of people turned up to demonstrate. I wasn't sure what about at first, but then it became clear that they were a bunch of people who worked in a sweatshop making clothes. There was a man at the front of the group with a loud hailer, who I recognised as Peter Tatchell.
He was making a big fuss about the plight of these people, and probably rightly so, but I couldn't help but think 'Why is this man just so annoying?' He started going up to the various stalls and quizzing the staff at them and the people buying stuff, saying things like 'Do you realise these garments are made by people who are treated like slaves?'
I hadn't even turned up to buy anything, I seemed to be there by accident. Then he made eye contact with me. I realised I had two choices, either start chanting one of his slogans or get press-ganged by him. While I certainly thought his cause was noble, the man was just too much of an irritant for me to join forces with, so I quickly dived behind a stall and hid.
I managed to stay hidden while he marched past. I looked around and saw a great pair of trainers, I had a moral quandary for a second where I realised that it would immoral to buy them, but would it be morally OK to rob them?
Freakiness: 7
Nightmare Factor: 4
Amusement Factor: 6
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 3
Vividness: 4
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Furniture in the 80s
Cheese: Unsure as it was bought for me, but suspected to be Yorkshire Blue (approx. 100g)
I was in some sort of furniture / home wares store. I was with my wife and a few other people, the furniture in there seemed to be of an out of date contemporary style, probably quite 80s.
I then began to notice that they had some electrical equipment for sale too, and this equipment was also quite dated. There were old style VCRs and cassette tape decks. There were also cassette tapes for sale.
I found a limited edition version of The Stone Roses' debut album with some extra tracks that I'd never heard. I was quite tempted to buy it but then realised that I no longer have a tape deck on which to play it.
I also realised that two of my cousins were there, however they were both there as young kids, not the fully grown up people they are now. They were running round like nutters just as they did when they were kids.
My little cousin launched himself into a large armchair, which duly toppled over and broke. He got up and nonchalantly ran off.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
I was in some sort of furniture / home wares store. I was with my wife and a few other people, the furniture in there seemed to be of an out of date contemporary style, probably quite 80s.
I then began to notice that they had some electrical equipment for sale too, and this equipment was also quite dated. There were old style VCRs and cassette tape decks. There were also cassette tapes for sale.
I found a limited edition version of The Stone Roses' debut album with some extra tracks that I'd never heard. I was quite tempted to buy it but then realised that I no longer have a tape deck on which to play it.
I also realised that two of my cousins were there, however they were both there as young kids, not the fully grown up people they are now. They were running round like nutters just as they did when they were kids.
My little cousin launched himself into a large armchair, which duly toppled over and broke. He got up and nonchalantly ran off.
Freakiness: 3
Nightmare Factor: 2
Amusement Factor: 7
Enjoyability: 6
Coherence: 7
Vividness: 7
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